The sun is setting again, not again, yes again. I knew it would but it promised it wouldn’t and now I’m to be left alone in the dark again. The shadows are growing, smiling. They see me. They’re looking at me, and they’re very excited. They can smell my weakness. They know I’m alone on my island with no one here to help me, no one to save me from my urges, my dirty needs, my self-indulgences. But I’m begging, please, please sun, don’t disappear on me. Don’t go away. Don’t leave me, even if only temporarily. The night is short, but it’s oh so dark.
Oh so dark…
I know that I can stop this if I only try, but these shadows are growing again. They crawl out from the edges of the buildings. They congregate from under the bushes outside. They wait until the light is gone and then they come for me, they grab me, they take me. I tell them no, please no, not today, I’ve done so well and there’s no reason to bother me. You could so easily find someone else, someone willing, but that’s just the trick, isn’t it? Someone willing doesn’t fit the mold, does it? It doesn’t add to the recipe. There’s just no sport in one who jumps into the darkness by their own accord. And so they come, and they take me.
They take me…
I know this, though, I know this. I know it’s something inside, something within me, that could be under control if I only tried. It’s a chemical imbalance or something wrong with my genetic code. Maybe this fight isn’t so much about the shadows. Maybe it’s something a bit more basic than that, more primitive, not so conceptual. You can’t perceive the traits that are innate. They’re there already, part of the program, part of the game. Would you tell a dog to go find itself? No. It would wander until it died trying to find the dog you sent it to seek. So this thing, this darkness that drags me, it’s invisible to my own senses, but it’s there. I know it’s there. It’s always there. It’s waiting. For what, I don’t know.
It’s waiting no longer…
So those dark claws take me and I’m screaming, but not so loudly, mostly on the inside, and we go, off we go. Into the growing darkness. Into the night. There are people there as well, scattered here and there. They smile, they laugh, they’re all having such a wonderful time. Somehow they’ve brought shards of light with them. They’re not alone in the night. They bathe in the warmth, the glow, they survive from the love of those around them, and I only watch patiently, quietly, alone. My shadows have consumed me now, and they’re all smiling. They’re all so happy, all so smiling.
So smiling…
A woman has broken off, away, from the shard of glow. Her friend, it seems, was not her friend after all. What kind of friend leaves a lovely woman alone in this darkness? Where the fuck could he possibly think she could go? He’s abandoned her, forfeited her, made sacrifice of her soul. She smiles and trods along, unaware of the shadows. And he, he is gone. No where to be found. Around the corner now. No, not there. Be smart. The shadows are smiling.
They’re smiling…
But it’s too late. I’ve caught her scent. She’s like a rose garden in full bloom, lush and sweet and ripe and ready. She’s bathed in the light for so long, far too long. It’s time she’s joined the night. Oh my god, and the blood. Her blood. It’s fragrance is intoxicating. It reeks of happiness and comfort and love. She knows the light, she’s been in the sun. The shadows, I’d always thought them to be of such opposition to anything from the light, but they delight.
In this blood, how they delight…
Shawn Saying Something... 