A Bit of Looking Back

With Christmas and New Year screaming up on us, 2014 is effectively over in my book. All things considered, at least from a pragmatic point of view, it was a good year. My family is happy and healthy. Our roof doesn’t leak. We didn’t hit that deer that one night on the freeway. I’ve put on the proper amount of holiday weight. Beer was on sale numerous times.

And my writing improved.

The critic in me, the side that seems to want to stall or sabotage everything, is doing its best to convince me that this year was a waste. I spent the months diddling away at nothing productive. I dumped hours upon hours of time into the garbage by playing video games or surfing along on stupid websites or who knows what. You’ll never be a writer. It’s not going to happen. It’s just a daydream that you’re in love with. You use it to stroke your ego and feel better about yourself in private.

But I don’t think that’s true. Well, actually, it is true, but that’s the nice thing about life. You can often choose how things will happen next. You can write your own story (in most circumstances).

The truth is that I’m finally at a point where I enjoy my own writing. I can and will continue to improve, but I’ve begun to settle into my own a voice. It’s a nice place to be. And while on one hand I could look back at this year and admonish myself for not having a book that’s completed, or not getting down to business and putting a collection together, the truth is that I’m enjoying writing. I’m enjoying what I’m doing, and I’m enjoying how it’s turning out. That’s important.

About a month ago I reached a point, undefined by anything specific other than something clicking into place, where I felt the need to move on. Move forward. It inspired me to create a schedule for myself to spend more time writing and a little less time screwing around. The tricky thing about writing is that it doesn’t appear on your desk one day. You have to go out and get it. And it seems like now more than ever, it’s far too easy to be distracted away from the little goals we set in life.

We’ll see how it all turns out, but I’m excited for 2015. I have new goals and a workable path to approach them with.

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