I had a mini-revelation today. It was one of those things that is so obvious once you see it that you wonder how you ever missed it before. I guess all it takes is a small change in the angle of life, like light glinting off of a surface. Slowly, the the world spins and the sun comes around and at the right moment you’re blinded.
My revelation, lets call it a realization I guess, happened at about 6am this morning while driving to work. I was half-awake and going through the motions like every other zombie caught up in the rat race, but my mind was engaged in music. Weezer. Not my favorite band, but certainly enjoyable. The song I was enjoying is titled Ms. Sweeney and it’s worth a listen. As I listened, singing along with morning-voice that was incredibly out of pitch, it occurred to me why love music.
While that’s probably obvious from almost any perspective, I’ve spent years wondering why I enjoy listening so much but never had a desire to make my own. I’ve had many friends throughout my life who played, and still do play, music. At one point I had my own acoustic guitar, but it never took for me. I always wanted to listen. One of my reasons was that others have made such amazing music that there is no point in making my own. It would never surpass the songs that I love. Of course, that’s rarely the point of singing your own song.
Anyway, it was a big deal for me. It was like finally getting a sliver free. This is something that has troubled me for a very long time. I always thought it was a defect or my being lazy.
Then I get excited. I started thinking of all the songs that I love, and my mind was flooded with a realization of stories. Stories that I could relate to and stories I could tell. All of a sudden there was a connection, at least one that was finally understood, between two things that I love. Music and writing were joined.
I don’t really know why I’m sharing this. I guess it’s fun to embrace that feeling again, that realization. Music has been such a wonderful tool throughout my life in so many different ways. for so many different things. It fascinates me how songs can be so easily fused with memories. It amazes me how sound can translate into something that goes beyond words and ascends immediately into feeling. There’s an intrinsic quality to music, a quality I doubt I’ll ever understand completely. But I don’t need to. Music is fucking amazing.